Mar 28- Negatives & Positives

Meditation: Headspace, Under the Weather
Length: 5 minutes
Where: Living Room, Los Angeles
How It Felt: Uncomfortable

Man, this has been a hell of a weekend.

Yesterday, a close family friend died.

Friday, we found out our oldest had been exposed to Covid at school and the past several days have been a whirl of changing flights, (thankfully negative) Covid tests, weighing options, canceling, un-canceling, rescheduling, getting cleared, and finally landing on a slightly shortened version of our trip, pending two negative tests and ten days of quarantine.

I also got my second vaccine shot yesterday, which means I’ve spend the past 32 hours very tired, intermittently feverish, sweating, chills, headache, napping, not hungry then suddenly starving, foggy, and dealing with quite a bit the entire time.

This is life sometimes. When it happens, it happens all at once.

The good stuff:

I’m fully vaccinated- or, technically, will be in about 14 days. I will happily trade a few days of discomfort for the peace of knowing I’m protected against this crappy virus! I know we aren’t out of the woods yet as a whole, but this is a huge relief.

Also, the family trip to Florida is happening, and safely. We were all pretty devastated when it looked like we wouldn’t be able to go, not least of all because my mother and father-in-law are in their eighties and we haven’t seen them in well over a year. If we have learned anything during this pandemic, it’s that we shouldn’t take our time with loved ones for granted. So, this is a huge relief.

Lastly, while Brian’s passing is completely heartbreaking (and no, I haven’t had time to process this at all, or, at least, energy), there is a Celebration of Life planned where we can all come together and grieve, remember, share stories, and celebrate the man. I also haven’t seen my extended family in well over a year- since the holidays in 2019- so, while I wish it was under completely different circumstances, I’m feeling incredible comfort in the opportunity to finally see them again.

Sometimes Steve and I feel overwhelmed by our huge, sprawling families. You can never get enough time with everyone, can’t make every special event, can’t ever seem to be with them as much as you like. But we both know that this is a blessing. I always say, “if our biggest problem is we have so many people we love that we struggle to get enough time with all of them, that isn’t a problem at all.”

I’m sad, and I’m tired, and I’m a little overwhelmed, but I’m more grateful than ever for my life, for the people in it.

I meditated today. I wasn’t really in it, but I tried. I took some deep breaths and tried to relax my throbbing shoulder. I did my best.

All we can do in times like these is our best.