Jun 12- Heat Wave

Meditation: Headspace, Managing Anxiety #3
Length: 10 minutes
Where: Living Room, Los Angeles
How It Felt: Good but challenging

Proud of myself! I went for a long walk yesterday in the scorching heat and came back with a headache, likely from dehydration. I usually drink a ton of water but I forget how much a person can sweat in the valley! You need two tons!

I was tempted to give up on the day altogether, because I’m so tired of headaches after the weeks I’ve had, but I took some painkillers and powered through a ton of stuff. Including making myself a super healthy dinner, practicing Spanish, doing all the dishes (I hate dishes!), doing laundry, etc. I woke up today so happy I didn’t just give in to feeling awful.

(Some days, giving in is the best thing. Other days, you just have to push through! No judgment for those “throw in the towel” days, though.)

I also sat down for a proper “daytime” meditation! It was really, really hard to focus. I felt a little out of practice, and a little bit fuzzy from what has been a very hormonal week. Man, this week has been emotional. My “time of the month” makes me so crazy- I’m so glad I only have to do it four times a year! I cry at everything and I get really… well, dumb, for lack of a better word. Like there’s cotton in my brain. It’s so hard to concentrate!

(I could be a strong, feminist woman and just call it my period, but I just don’t like to. I just don’t. I don’t have a great explanation, I just prefer “lovely lady days” usually… it makes me feel like it’s a special time just for me to treat myself instead of a crappy bunch of days that come every 12 weeks and make me feel weepy and like I would eat you if you were made of cheese.)

I started this Anxiety series on Headspace forever ago and just never finished it for some reason. I could always use a little anxiety fix, so I went back to it. I like that all the sessions in this course so far have had options for the length, so for yesterday I could have done 10, 15, or 20 minutes. This is really nice because some days you really don’t want to hard stop for 20 full minutes, and others 10 minutes doesn’t feel like enough. With this option, you get all the info and practice at your own pace.

So far we’ve been practicing “noting”- basically noticing your thoughts then coming back to the present. This is supposed to be a good anxiety deterrent, sort of separating you from your thoughts. It was super hard for me yesterday. I honestly couldn’t stop thinking about what I was wearing to brunch today. I have no idea why.

It was a very low stakes meal.

Heading to the park with my book and running shoes now. If it’s too hot to move, I’ll just read in the shade and feed the squirrels. Hoping to get a little cardio in, but let’s see. I have a feeling it’s still baking out there.

It’s supposed to get into the 100s this week. Yikes!

You won’t catch me complaining, though. Heat over cold any day for me. I would not be disappointed if I never did another full winter again!