Jun 28- Risk

Meditation: Calm, Relationship with Self Series: Risk
Length: 10 minutes
Where: Office/Guest Room, Los Angeles
How It Felt: Fine

Exhausted from this day both from crappy sleep and from performing, so I won’t make this one of the usual long diatribes I’ve been so fond of lately. I’m spent.

I tried to focus during today’s meditation, I really did. It was hard! My mind is jumping all over. Lots of stuff filling my brain today. I kept practicing coming back to the breath, though, I really did.

A few observations:

One, I am so bad at waiting to be “dismissed,” if you will, from the sessions these past few days! I keep thinking the meditation is over before it actually is over. Apparently there is a little bell that ends it for real, but I don’t feel like I’ve always noticed this bell before, so I didn’t know to listen for it. The first time, I opened my eyes when the guide started talking a lot about the topic, thinking it was the end. It wasn’t. The second, I waited until she was done, but I didn’t wait for “open your eyes.” Today, I made it to “open your eyes” and then noticed the bell!

I’m impatient!

Secondly, I’m really happy that my posture is improving immensely! I’m rebuilding a lot of back muscles I lost when I had to pause working out so much (thanks to ED recovery). I was a dancer, so I used to have a super strong back and core! I missed it, but it’s coming back. No punishing, miserable workouts required! Thanks, meditation! (And, I’m sure, yoga!)

Lastly, I noticed today that the “Daily Calm” sessions- the new meditations they cycle through daily on the app, are lining up almost exactly with the meditation series I’m doing now. Isn’t that weird? Usually they are ones I’ve never heard of, random totally different titles. Feels like even more confirmation I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing!

As for risk, I think anyone who knows me or reads this blog (or anything I’ve written) knows my stance on risk. Which is: TAKE IT! Go for it! Fail spectacularly! Get the big prize! In love, in life, in career, in travel, in everything, risk risk risk.

The only thing we should be afraid to risk is regret.

It’s a nice reminder though, right as I’m getting deeper back into life. I’m about to go back to constant vulnerability, change, and taking my shots at crazy targets.

I can’t wait! Am I scared? Sure! Is it worth it? Always.