Jun 29- Fresh Air

Meditation: Calm, Relationship with Self Series: Self-Nurturing
Length: 10 minutes
Where: Noho Park, Los Angeles
How It Felt: So peaceful

God, I love meditating outside. I love it so much. Ever since this pandemic started, I’ve found myself appreciating basic things like a deep breath of fresh air, sunshine on my face, and space to move around about 100 times more than I did before. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.

I love our little condo so much. It is not lost on me how incredibly lucky we are to be able to actually own property in LA. The market is crazy out here, and even three years ago when we bought this place, we had to put in an offer without even seeing it first. (Thank goodness it turned out to be a dream, but can you imagine if it hadn’t? That’s a big purchase to bet on!)

Still, the one thing that’s missing is a little outdoor space for just us. We had no idea how precious that would become during this past year, thinking we could always be outside. It’s LA! We live a couple of blocks from a park, for goodness sake. Who needs a yard when you can drive ten minutes to an unbelievable hike, walk two minutes to a large expanse of green with walking trails, or have every type of natural space available to you just a few hours in any direction? The weather is beautiful 95% of the time- just walk outside!

Of course, masks and people and germs and social distancing changed all that. It didn’t take long to start dreaming of a little house with a yard here. I was again beyond lucky to have our house in Michigan to escape to, where I could wander about our yard and even our neighborhood freely, one advantage of the suburban life I never saw for myself. I found myself longing for an outdoor space all my own on the west coast- a little haven where Tigre could watch the birds; where I could feed the squirrels and read outside in the sun without having to leave home; where I could do yoga in the mornings, entertain friends in the evenings, and, just as exciting, meditate in the fresh air!

It’s funny how you get life all worked out, then something comes along and pushes you in a different direction. The only thing you can count on is change, right?

Isn’t this tree at our park magical? It’s always full of squirrels going crazy. I like to pretend it’s their own little BH 90210 complex and there’s mad drama.

I spent hours at the park yesterday. Laying in the sunshine, having a looooong talk with a friend, reading a book, watching the squirrels play and eat and tease the dogs…. it’s just a little piece of heaven that fills my heart with joy. The park is huge, so you can meditate easily without being interrupted or worrying about closing your eyes. Watching the space come alive again after this past year has been so cool. A group of people working out to pounding music at one end, some young people making a little iPhone film over there, a group of kids playing soccer over here, a doggie play group, an old man feeding the squirrels by hand, every type of choreography being worked on, actors running lines, people sprawled out with books….

I missed people. Something I never thought I would say!

The topic of the meditation was self-nurturing, and I’ve definitely done this one before some past day I was struggling with that very thing. I’ve really taken this concept to heart recently, and realized how powerful it can be to water your own garden. It’s easy to focus on the lack of parental support I’m faced with in life if I wanted to stay in the negative. Instead, I love that I’m finding healing in the support of my extended family, my chosen framily, my wonderful partner, and myself.

(Framily, noun: friends who are family and family who are friends.)

Over the years I’ve learned to self-soothe, how to speak to myself in a loving way, how to be gentle with myself and, by extension, gentler with those around me, how to give myself what I need in the moment and believe I have everything I need to make this life wonderful inside me. It’s a sad beginning with a happy ending.

It’s the story of a girl who filled in the gaps all by herself and became stronger than she ever dreamed.

Today, as I look ahead at less than two weeks til my birthday, I am feeling grateful. Lucky. Blessed. Strong. Excited. Ready to reach more goals. Ready to help more people. Humbled by so much. Empowered at a whole new level.

It’s cheese upon cheese, but I’m leaning into it. I could play it cooler, but I don’t care about that anymore. I’m happy and I’m grateful and life is good!

Next post is a monthly check-in, as well as the midpoint of my little experiment!! Half a year of daily meditations and blogs done. No matter what, I’m so proud of myself for sticking with this. It’s changed my life in so many ways! I know it isn’t the only big change I’ve made lately, but it has definitely been a big part of how great I feel. Happier. More peaceful. I have so much more clarity.

It’s too much.

If you’re questioning whether meditation is worth it, I’m here to tell you it is. Do it. Don’t wait! You won’t regret it!