Meditation: Calm, Relationship with Self Series: Stories Length: 10 minutes Where: Noho Park, Los Angeles How It Felt: Peaceful
The park was so perfect yesterday.
Not too hot, not too sunny, not too cloudy- perfect. It was so quiet that when I closed my eyes to meditate, all I could hear were birds and far away traffic.
Only a few sessions left in this series. This one was about understanding the stories you tell yourself and where they came from, and it felt familiar. I’ve either done this meditation or one very like it in the past.
I’m really having a hard time mentally this week. I’m feeling cluttered up there. I have so many plates spinning and it feels so sudden- my brain is out of practice multi-tasking!
I also feel like every day I learn about someone else I love or care about who simply refuses to get vaccinated. It’s so insane to me…I cannot wrap my head around it. I would love to just not think about it, but how are you supposed to not care if someone you love dies or infects another person just because they are too stubborn or ignorant or both to get a simple shot? I’m back to where I was at the beginning of the pandemic- then I was worried because most people back home weren’t bothering to take this seriously.
Now because… they won’t bother to get a free shot? What? I literally can’t wrap my mind around it!
We have this big party coming up, which we scheduled for August thinking certainly everyone would be vaccinated by then. Never in my wildest dreams did I think people would just be completely lazy or refuse. I couldn’t imagine anything so selfish.
Turns out, it’s half our country.
I’m just SO TIRED of people right now. Not the good ones. Not the loving ones. Not the selfless ones. Not the responsible ones.
The other ones.
It wears on your soul. It really does.
Please get vaccinated. Jesus Christ. Stop being the worst, people. Stop making other people have to constantly decide whether they can do normal, every day things because people like you are so unbelievably selfish. Please.
I just can’t.
I just want to get lost in my work right now. I want to go back to class, back to set, back to the stage, back to volunteering and events with like-minded people. I need to be reminded that I’m in an incredible community. I need that support. This pandemic both separated us from our communities and reminded us how awful people are at the same time. It’s a one-two punch. It sucks.
I just want all of this to be over.
I. Am. Tired.
My Year of Meditation 