Aug 26- Unclog

Meditation: Headspace, SOS: Feeling Overwhelmed
Length: 3 minutes
Where: Bedroom, Los Angeles
How It Felt: Opening

Starting to come out of this week’s brain fog. Actually got to meditating earlier in my day yesterday, which I count as a win. My brain was getting busy processing and processing, moving information around and putting it away. It was a lot, but I knew it was a good sign. You want things moving up there, not sitting around in a foggy lump.

Just in time, too, as things are picking up. I’m organizing my first round of meetings for the new play I’m directing- with my AD, the playwright, costumer, etc- just first steps but a lot of things to get moving. I got a big audition today for a feature that shoots in Grand Rapids, randomly- the city we got married in! That would be a fun place to film something. And my brain must have processed enough stuff and put it away because I’m starting to get ideas I’m excited about again! Today I had an idea for a new series, something to write and hopefully star in. I practically saw the entire pilot episode in my head- I love when that happens!

Because of all this, the “Feeling Overwhelmed” session from Headspace seemed like a nice way to pause my brain and remind it to take its time. We’ve been through a lot lately, my brain and me! (It was also handy because I was waiting for my sushi to be delivered and it was only three minutes long. I didn’t want to be stressed and half listening for the doorbell while I meditated!)

It really did help to clear some space and calm me a bit. I’m starting to get really ramped up, and I want to be sure to temper it, keep an even pace. I just cleared a lot of distraction out of my life, and I’m having so many ideas and little inspirations, I’m worried about getting manic or just simply experiencing an old fashioned burn out. I’m a little too excited! I’ve never lived my life for me, myself, and my goals first and foremost. I’m not going to let myself get distracted like I used to, or go on a million tangents. I get to actually focus, to build career inertia and keep it going this time, without stopping and starting over. (Barring a seriously huge unexpected life event, of course- positive or negative, but, if it must happen, hopefully positive!)

Anyway, I’m kind of babbling- I’ve really turned this blog into a space to explore my thoughts and feelings more than anything. I have no idea if that’s interesting to anyone else, but it’s helping me immensely. I’m also days away from being 2/3 done with this project! It still feels like a long way to go, but I’m crazy proud of myself for sticking with this. I never thought I could do something that required such consistent commitment, to be honest, but sometimes it’s as simple as telling yourself you just will. For whatever reason, you will do this.

And then you prove it to yourself, and have more confidence the next time!

Ok, lots of work to do and it’s late. I got Steve tucked away in bed (yay!) and we have a whole long day planned tomorrow- fun day but long day. I’m going to meditate, stretch, and join him. I am so ready for some proper cuddles!