Sep 2- Texas Taliban

Meditation: Headspace, Appreciation #6
Length: 11 minutes
Where: Office/Guest Room, Los Angeles
How It Felt: Like ahhhhh

One thing’s for sure: I had a very different idea of how this blog would go.

I did not imagine a world where Covid is still such a serious problem. I never could have dreamed people would be so paranoid and unaware of their privilege that they would refuse the vaccine for no medical or logical reason. I fully imagined I’d be traveling, meditating in groups, perhaps doing a retreat. I thought my “where”s would be all over the country, or the world. This has been interesting.

And an exercise in repetition.

I’m a little crushed under the weight of the world today. The Texas abortion stuff is terrifying. How is it possible we still live in a country where a woman isn’t guaranteed bodily autonomy? How are we still treated as incubators before human beings? I don’t understand. I know there has always, since the beginning of humanity, been evil and oppression and cruelty. I don’t know why it still shakes me to my core.

I had a nice day. I had a (free!) great haircut. I was gifted two beautiful scarves and free ink for my printer (weird, I know.) I had a wonderful meeting with the AD for my upcoming directing gig, and her energy was awesome. The weather outside was beautiful. Steve and I had a couple of wonderful talks. I studied a bit and read a bit and took care of some business. All is well.

Still, that dark energy wears me down some days.

Before my meditation today, I did The Wake Up from Headspace. I didn’t intend to, but it was titled “How to Find Gratitude in Tough Times” and that seemed right for today. Those little animations are so soothing. Here is a screen grab from today’s:

Seemed on theme.

Then, of course, I moved on to the Appreciation meditation. It’s the same thing each time. More repetition. More practicing one thing. Good for the mind, difficult for the patience.

I really thought about how much I appreciate Los Angeles, my beautiful home, and the chance to make things. I love what I do. I love being creative. I love that I get to be a part of that world.

I still feel down, but it’s a good reminder that even though a certain thing can be absolutely hellishly bad, a lot of things in life aren’t. There is still beauty and hope and kindness and good and art and nature and my cat and my marriage and my people and, at the very least, a Congress controlled by Democrats. Are they doing much with it? Not enough! But they’re there, and many of them are trying.

Ok, my three things I’m most grateful for today, in keeping up with the assignment:

  1. My husband. My heart is so full.
  2. Opportunity. The chances to make things better for ourselves and others.
  3. Pajamas. I’ve been wearing “real” clothes a lot more lately and it makes me more grateful for sweats and cute pj sets than ever!

I’m sad. I’m going to let myself be sad tonight.

Tomorrow, there are letters to write and phone calls to make and websites to overwhelm with false tips (okay, already started that…) and protests to locate and information to share.

Tonight, we let our hearts be a little broken at the reminder, once again, that women are viewed as less than human to so many.