Sep 13- Conquer

Meditation: Headspace, Wind Down: Noting
Length: 3 minutes
Where: Bedroom, Los Angeles
How It Felt: Empowering

Oh, man.

I literally just finished this meditation and I know I need to get to sleep, which is why I would normally write this blog tomorrow, but I really want to remember this exact feeling.

I chose a wind down session to help me get sleepier (I took an Ambien to try to adjust my clock a bit but I’ve been such a night owl for so much of the past 18 months, I need a little help here.) Somehow, while relaxing, the session was also crazy empowering!

Maybe I’m jazzed from all the Met Gala coverage. That’s on my bucket list, I have no shame about it. I’m going to attend the Met Gala because when you dream about something as long as I have dreamed about this, you find a way to make it happen.

And I started to feel like…oh. I guess maybe it’s just time to make all of it happen. I have so many dreams and goals and things I want to make better and things I want to make at all. It’s time to just start doing. Failing spectacularly sometimes, sure. That doesn’t scare me at all anymore.

God… know what I’m realizing? I feel SO strong right now, and I know why. I finally reached that point where I legitimately don’t give AF what anyone thinks. I really don’t. I think I’m impossible to shame or embarrass. I’ve been inching my way there since I was born, and spent most of my life giving very little worry to what anyone might think about my dreams or choices or way of being. But we can all get intimidated by the really big stuff.

Plus, for a while I somehow got sucked in to the suburban BS of who has the nicest porch and do we have the right console table for the foyer and do my stepkids understand how much I love them even though I live in another state and what crazy thing will the ex say about THIS and does my family think I don’t care enough? And and and and and because that shit never ends once it starts.

Now that I’ve finally snapped out of that and back to myself, I’m really living in my full power. I know myself, my intentions, my heart. I know I’m coming from a place of love and open minded thinking and non judgement. I trust myself to be me. And I believe I can do incredible things if I just, simply, do them. Try them. Be vulnerable. Mess up. Win one, lose five. Whatever!

Experience the joy of being a real, messy, imperfect, badass human who gets their hands in a makes shit happen.

But first, sleep.

(I’m too excited!!!)