Oct 9- Good

Meditation: Chopra, Creating Abundance: The Field of All Possibilities
Length: 15 minutes
Where: Office/Guest Room, Los Angeles
How It Felt: Lovely
Who Joined Me: Steve & Tigre

Really long but wonderful day today. We got our booster shots over with, which was a relief. We had a wonderful breakfast and a delicious vegan lunch and sushi for dinner with friends. There was cat sitting for a wonderful couple we’ve gotten to know recently and a rehearsal to iron out the timing of an actor’s entrance. There was cuddle time and free peanut butter and cleanup and two booked jobs. There were deep talks and funny talks.

And, of course, there was meditation.

I love so much when Steve and I meditate together, or when Tigre curls up in my lap during a session, and today I got both. So much love. We all meditated together to the mantra: Sat, Chit, Ananda. Existence, Consciousness, Bliss. Beautiful.

In bed now, nursing my ridiculous turf toe (four inch heels) and winding down for bed. A few last director decisions to make and we are finally in the home stretch. I’ve picked the music. We’ve tracked down the costumes. The contracts and bios for the playbills and all the “business” is done. We are ironing out the last of our tech issues tomorrow. We will be done with the initial blocking by tomorrow night. Then, it’s just the fun stuff: tightening the comedy, finding the moments, adjusting until everything just *clicks*!

I hated having to quit something this week, to let someone down who had come to rely on me. I hated doing it, but I know it was the right decision. Already the work I love to do is pouring in to fill the gap left behind. Energetically I’m lighter. I tried, and it didn’t work, and that’s hard. But I listened to my needs and I did the hard thing, and I’m so grateful.

Life is good. Things are good. There are always things to improve, but… I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this way before… all the big things are right. They are aligned. Everything is in the right place, and it’s flowing, and nothing is hurting me or draining me or making me miserable. Nothing to overcome, nothing to keep going “in spite” of it being there. I’m just… right where I’m supposed to be.

Much to do. Goals to check off. Dreams to chase. Definitely. But I don’t feel like I’m waiting for any of it to happen in order to finally feel happy or free or like I “made it.” I feel that way now. Everything else is just icing on the cake at this point.

Some days, I can’t believe this is my life and I get to live it. It’s just too beautiful to feel real. But it is- and it’s mine- and I’m so proud of it. I worked so hard to build a safe, fun, happy, kind, joyful, loving, adventurous life, and here it is. I’m in it. It’s too much sometimes.

Just feeling really, really lucky tonight. That’s all. That’s what I want to share.

Don’t ever let anyone convince you life has to be ugly and hard and small. It doesn’t. I promise you.

This baby from my other baby’s perspective. Love.