Oct 31- Monthly Check-In #10

Meditation: Calm, Calm Light
Length: 3 minutes
Where: Bedroom, Los Angeles
How It Felt: I kept falling asleep!

I made it! I got to the end of my crazy, exhausting run of things to do. Last night was amazing. I was a judge in the costume contest for the Nightmare Before Christmas live concert event. Greg Proops emceed! I’m obsessed with him! I grew up watching him do improv and dreaming of doing it myself someday!

The costumes were amazing, but the show was even more amazing. Billie Eilish did a great job as Sally and Danny Elfman is just too talented. Ken Page though- wow. It felt so good to be swept up in so much magic- the film and the crowd and the music and the show….

I’ve missed all this!

By the time I got home and started wrapping up my day, I could honestly barely stay awake. I meditated as I was stretching, leaning into one side of my nightly pigeon pose while I did it. I kept having those little weird snap dreams you get when you’re crazy tired and dare to close your eyes for a moment.

The next five days, while not entirely empty anymore, will be much more low key. But, really, auditions, opportunities, and gigs are rolling in like crazy, and I know it’s going to be a feast for a good while after that year and a half of famine. I’m so happy to be productive and doing exciting work again! I feel back to myself!

In lieu of a long, detailed check-in this month, as we are coming to the end of our journey and I know I’ll have a final check-in or two coming soon, I just want to say this:

Meditation has permanently, forever changed me. It’s part of me now. I could go through the list and say yes I’m less anxious, less reactive, happier, more balanced, more empathetic, on and on. I’ve made progress in every single category.

The biggest change, though, is how much easier everything feels. I’ve taken this time to focus on personal and spiritual growth, meditating, yes, but also doing a lot of reading and listening and learning, and life just feels so much simpler than it used to feel. My response is not always required, my reaction doesn’t always need to happen. I’m not responsible for other people, and I get that now. I understand boundaries better, and how to read my gut more quickly and clearly.

I feel lighter, less burdened with the weight of others’ needs, quicker to maneuver and recover from tiring days.

Meditation has been one part of this transformation, but it’s been an important part. Moreover, the confidence I’ve gained from proving to myself I really can do something big when I set my mind to it is priceless.

Life feels more beautiful than ever before. I’m grateful every single day. I feel like I’m truly seeing myself fully. I’m so happy.

That’s it. That’s the real heart of it: I’m just so happy.

Ten months down, two to go! It seems like a very, very long time, but I know I can do it!