Meditation: Calm, Calm Light
Length: 3 minutes
Where: Bedroom, Los Angeles
How It Felt: Barely remember
I was up all night with Tigre, soothing and trying to help him. My poor baby is in pain. I’m running on so little sleep, it’s crazy, just letting the minutes tick by until I can get home and either find he’s managed to push out his… blockage… or immediately take him to the emergency vet to deal with it.
I am quite miserable at the moment, suffice to say.
I know he’s going to be okay (right? Please?) and I know the vet said this isn’t a life-threatening situation. Steve even called back today for me to triple check this. They said it should be fine to bring him in this afternoon (and the wait time was already five hours early this morning- sigh.) But the thought that he’s in pain and alone kills me. I can’t take it.
This day is going so slowly, despite loving this job.
Steve also changed his flight to come in earlier, so thankfully he’ll be here with me tomorrow. I need help. I’m so overwhelmed. I have piles and piles of towels and blankets to wash (I had to spread them over every surface to catch puke and dirty bum wipes and all kinds of horrors), and I’m behind on everything else because I had no time last night. I just hope Tigre is okay. That’s all I care about. Please, please let my baby be okay.
I did meditate while stretching last night. I dreamed of catching a few hours of sleep, but Tigre needed me too much. Loving another living creature, human or otherwise, is so terrifying. A pet is so hard, because the chances are, even if everything goes perfectly, you will have to say goodbye at some point.
But not Tigre. Not even close. He’s still got many years ahead of him. I’m giving him the happiest life I know how and all the love there is. I’ll heal him by sheer force of will, so help me.
And then, I hope, I hope, I’ll sleep.