Meditation: Calm, Emergency Calm Length: 5 minutes Where: Bedroom, Los Angeles How It Felt: Like loosening a knot... a tiny bit
Steve is here. Things are not easier but they seem easier with a partner, with my partner. He’s helping me so much, doing so much. But, honestly, just his presence is the best part. Just being near him helps me breathe, to not feel like I’m about to overheat any second.
Today, I stayed in bed until after 1pm. I was exhausted last night, but since Steve was here, I finally felt myself relax a bit, and I just took a gummy and zoned out to Dickinson (great show!) for a while and played stupid games on my phone. It felt really, really nice to just stop thinking about everything for a few hours. I slept hard until about 8:30am, then tossed and turned until Tigre and my husband cuddled up with me for a little bit, which is the best feeling in the world. I dozed for a few more hours.
There is just so much happening, and so much to take care of, and so much that isn’t convenient right now. The supply chain stuff is crazy. It’s okay, obviously, but after years of getting used to everything we could ever want being within arms reach immediately, there is an adjustment involved with having to hunt and plan. The world just feels… misaligned right now. Everything is harder than it should be. Today it took us three tries to book a flight for Steve- we kept getting stuck with the wrong date somehow. We went to two different pet stores to find Tigre’s new food, only to learn we needed a special code to actually purchase it. We went to Target and about one fifth of our list wasn’t in stock, and we realized we were double charged for an item while leaving.
Just everything seems extra difficult and all over the place, and I’m hearing from so many people that I am not alone in this feeling right now. The energy is off. Something isn’t working.
It will pass. It always does. But it’s super draining at the moment and I’m pretty over it.
Sometimes it’s nice to just feel sorry for yourself for a minute, to commiserate. My husband and I both felt crabby after a frustrating night, but we made dinner and watched one of our favorite shows and leaned in to being crabby together, and honestly? It was comforting.
Tigre is almost back to himself 100% which is the best news I could hope for today. I just want him to be totally okay. We are switching his food again and changing up some of his routine and hopefully that will help things going forward. Chewy, the pet supply place, was kind enough to refund his first boxes of food in full since they made him sick, and that was an incredible kindness on a rough day. Those moments go a long way toward sustaining a person!
I can’t recommend them enough. If all companies were so ethical and costumer-centric, a lot of people would be a lot happier in life. The whole world would be a better place. Big fan.
Things will get easier soon. I know they will. Sometimes life just gets jammed up and you have to push your way through it a bit, but you have to do it gently and patiently or it makes it worse.
(Wow, I guess Tigre’s constipation was totally on brand for the moment….ha!)
So much to look forward to this week- a double date with some of our besties, very well paid work I’m extremely grateful to have, a fabulous dinner party to celebrate a good friend’s birthday, and lots of time with my man, not to mention all-these-boys-can-handle cuddles coming their way. It’s all going to be okay. Not everything can go perfectly all the time.
We just have to ease our way forward until the energy flows again. We can do it.
Last night I did an “Emergency Calm” session. I felt stressed to the point of bursting before I picked Steve up at LAX, then, as the stress started to melt, what came out was a totally manic energy, like all the anxiety and worry from the past week had to escape somehow. I talked nonstop, my mind was going a million miles an hour, and I had loads of energy all of a sudden. I don’t know if it qualified as an “emergency” but there was definitely an element of “SOS”!
Much calmer today, even if I was grumpy. Much sleepier, too. Maybe, just maybe, one solid night of sleep will get me back to normal. Sleep, in my opinion, solves an awful lot of problems. Feeling sick? Get some sleep. Burned out? Sleep. Cranky? Nap time! It cures a lot of ills, literal and otherwise.
Sometimes I wish I could be one of those people that barely needs any sleep at all, but I simply am not. What I really wish, and have since I was a little kid, is that I didn’t need even a moment of sleep so I could never miss anything and do everything I want! However, I’m told that’s a “scientific impossibility,” so, here we are.
Sleep, kindness, and gratitude. Probably the three best tools in our belts, huh?
My Year of Meditation 