Nov 28- Burnout

Meditation: Calm, Calm Light
Length: 3 minutes
Where: Bedroom, Los Angeles
How It Felt: Short but I was so tired

I have not been using meditation for its full purpose and I am definitely feeling the effects of missing out.

I’ve just been running on fumes this past week, and meditation has mostly been getting pushed to a short something at the end of the day when I am already half asleep. My brain feels cluttered and overwhelmed. I miss real, long, wide awake meditations!

I dove in so hard the past eight weeks or so, and I have officially worn myself out. It’s been a crazy time, full of adventure and fun memories and making great money and meeting new people and coloring pages brightly, but it’s time for a pause. A rest. It’s needed.

The holidays are always busy for us and can often get quite stressful. We have large families, there is always travel, and three awesome and excited kids that come with a completely rigid, never to be adjusted even an hour or two, totally ridiculous holiday schedule. (PSA- as a child of divorce myself, let me tell you- kids need reasonable parents who can be civil and work together to make everything go smoothly, parents who don’t guilt kids with their loneliness so they can’t enjoy holidays, parents who can be a little flexible to make everything best for all involved. I am so lucky that even my messed up parents got that part right! They were essentially children themselves but they instinctually knew how important it was to put me first. Why can’t grown ass adults do this?)

You can see I have a bit of an edge today. I have no more space up there, no room for patience and processing. My brain is just done, but life doesn’t stop! Nor does the blog I promised myself I would do every single day for an entire year! This girl. Lord.

Yes, I’m crabby. I slept a full eight hours last night, then napped for almost three more. I could sleep for three days, honestly. My house is a mess since I’ve been working so much. My to do list has piled up, too. And now, there are a million holiday related tasks to do- booking flights and buying and making gifts and making plans for Tigre (I think he’s coming to Michigan with us for Christmas!) and sending cards and all the things.

So, I’m slowing down a bit in December. I have to, or I’ll be a wreck. This is the right call for sure- I hustled and I earned it. Steve and I have a couple’s trip to Tahoe planned for the first week of the new year- a little skiing and a trip to the casino (and maybe my favorite art gallery), sleeping in and reading books by the fire, lounging in the hot tub with a glass of wine- doesn’t that sounds amazing? So, I can maintain my balance for the next month, then I get to rest, refresh, and start the new year strong! Ahhhh.

That sounds nice. I’m so excited.

Or, I would be if I had the energy…