Nov 29- tick, tick…

Meditation: Calm, 7 Days of Managing Stress: De-escalating Stress
Length: 12 minutes
Where: Bedroom, Los Angeles
How It Felt: Calming

One last early morning tomorrow. I just have to get up early one more time, before I get soooo many days to sleep in. Yay!

I saw tick, tick…BOOM! tonight. It was amazing. Inspiring. And it helped me realize something important.

I am so exhausted because I am not doing the things that fill my soul back up. I could be acting all day, every day, forever, and I would never get tired. Performing is the thing that gives me never ending joy and never ending energy. When my work strays too far from that, I start to get drained.

I started out a couple of months ago auditioning a ton, only taking acting or performing-related jobs, and it was so exciting to be back to work! Then, I started getting sucked in to the easy money events pouring in suddenly from my agencies, and now I’ve managed to burn myself out for the paycheck and not much else.

Don’t get me wrong- I’m grateful to make money doing reasonably fun and easy things. I really am. But that stuff is never going to fill my heart, and it’s always going to drain me. It’s not what I’m here to do. Not even close. And I can and do make money doing work I actually love, even if it’s not nearly as consistent or predictable, so why don’t I stick with that? Instead of burning out and having to stop altogether to regroup all the time?

I almost didn’t go to this screening tonight. I’m exhausted. I didn’t want to get dressed and do my makeup and drive to Beverly Hills and wear real pants just to see something I could watch at home. But the inspiration I found in those two hours in the Wilshire Screening Room gave me more energy than I’ve had in weeks. I need to be plugged into this stuff! It’s just where I’m meant to be.

I started the Managing Stress series on Calm, thinking it’s probably a good way to kick off the official Christmas season. Here we go, into the holidays! I am definitely not ready, but December 25th waits for no man.

Except Santa… I’ll bet it would wait for him.